We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
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