I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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