Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize