The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
