good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize