My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Randomize
