If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
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