that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
