i permit you to call me
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
My pussy is not your playground.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
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