that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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