Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Randomize
