The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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