Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
