you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
