Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
