She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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