i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
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