nutella sex= disaster
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
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