we made out on top of his cat.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
I just googled if crying burns calories
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Randomize
