This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I'm sobbing to NWA
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
