Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
even my farts smell like vagina
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
It's shark week go big or go home
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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