Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
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