tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Randomize
