Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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