she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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