i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Randomize
