she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
