Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
