We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
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