I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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