And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
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