Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
