Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize