ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
