SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
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