some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
