The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
