Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
and she was petting her beer can
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
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