Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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