hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
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