Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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