Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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