"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
