So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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