question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
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