I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
is that a dick in a sweater?
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
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