I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Your topless pictures make me question reality
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
