you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
you never un-have a 4some
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
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