did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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