four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
