drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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