My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
Randomize
