things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
