i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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