I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Randomize