She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
