Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
